The ramblings of an absent-minded doctoral student

The ramblings of an absent-minded doctoral student. Chronicling my life as I earn a PhD in history.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

It's Wednesday already?

Well, my goal of 2 books a day has been a total bust. I have yet to finish unpacking. But I did get a good number of things accomplished. I put together a bunch of furniture, did get the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom unpacked, and had a mostly positive meeting with my adviser. She's pleased with my overall progress, which is good. I learned, however, that my fear, intimidation, and hesitancy has come across in class as more flippant and careless. I was unaware of this, and now I really need to step up my game and change my in-class persona. I mean, if you look at my work and what I've accomplished (or tried to accomplish) then flippant is far from how you would describe me. But if that is how I'm coming across during class discussions and presentations, then I need to find a way to change that. And I suppose the best way is to believe in myself more and to present myself in a more authoritative way. I don't know why, but I never feel like I have anything of value to contribute. And I need to change that perception. So that is my new goal for this school year: to show that I am not flippant (besides passing my generals exams of course).

Now that I'm moved in and mostly unpacked, I really need to buckle down on my generals reading and start seriously researching funding opportunities to get back into research. I have really lacked in the research area given the mix of my schedule and mental health issues. But a new workout routine and a 5k marathon goal has really helped improve my overall mood and motivation. So let's see if I can use that to my advantage.

Why is it that I can sound sophisticated when I write papers, but not when I write a blog entry?